Updated: Feb 11, 2021
It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or not...
The holidays can be the happiest time for some and for others, it can be horrible. Truth is, many of us can flip between the happy or horrible side of the feelings coin, depending on what’s going on in our lives. Family dynamics, singledom, relationship pressures, money problems, and that extra overall self-pressure we put on ourselves. This can even be subconscious pressure about accomplishments, or lack there of and falling into the comparison trap of comparing ourselves to what we see on social. That gift they got, those matching Xmas PJ’s, that Holiday/vacation, that engagement, that house, that car, that person or family in their lives, that happy face!
Holidays are HARD! Even when you’re happy. Holidays can be lonely, even when you’re not alone!
This blog is for people who want to connect and have tips to refer back to at any point in time. Not only will you read 5 key tips to navigate the holidays a with your feels high, you'll see an invite for some festive fun and a free video coaching you can keep. The video is especially feel good in those moments when you need a reminder that you're not alone.
Here's to riding the exacerbated highs and lows of the holidays with as much self-compassion, peace and joy as possible.
Before we begin, RSVP to join the Xmas Eve Boost Party. It's free. Boost members will get together on Christmas Eve at 6PM BST / 1PM EST and it's for anyone who wants to connect with me and more humans for no reason other than to connect and chat. I will be wearing my xmas hat and jumper (sweater) with pride and joy! RSVP here for the private link I’ll also be jumping on Instagram live a few times between Xmas and New Year so come along and say hi!
1) Let’s talk finance: Live within your means– set a holiday season budget to reduce fear, insecurity & negative self-talk
It’s easy to get caught up in the season of giving then overspend and splurge. That’s only going to lead to negative self-talk and fear later. Set yourself a specific budget and stick to it. Yes, this season can be special and use it to enjoy the quality time with yourself and the people around you.
Spend only what you can afford and if you need to set people’s expectation in advance, do! DO a secret Santa with a spend limit on it
Consider hand-made gifts or a personal note to share with people and a small token, a printed picture perhaps which is low cost
Grocery/food shopping. Shop a few days before for the few days of xmas and new year with a shopping list which will help you stay on budget, buying only what you need
Put some funds aside for January
2) Let’s talk family: You love them, they love you, you’re different, yet similar, they annoy you, you annoy them. Some have family, others do not. You need to prepare yourself for the extra family time. Your situation is unique to you, the best advice I can offer more generally knowing overall holiday dynamics at home are:
Plan the time and activities that will support creating a positive environment. For example, games to play and movies to watch to focus the time and if you need to, step away and go for a walk if it’s getting overwhelming.
Use this little mindset hack in moments of frustration: Try to focus on the love here, love the part that annoys you, love the differences and refocus onto what you appreciate about each other. That can make a significant impact in the moment.
It’s not all roses at home for some and those who are alone and feel alone, remember while you might not be able to change anything significantly in the moment, you can change this in future through actions today that will help that.
Contact anyone you feel you can talk to, join any online events (try meetup.com and google search for activities or volunteer) holidays are hard and if you ever need them and remember
I’ll be doing some lives on Instagram throughout. So DM me if you want to find out when the next one will be
3) Let's talk YOU:The power of daily self-care as part of your routine brings a sense of peace as a normal part of the day. So, this is all about self-care baby! This time of year can trigger anyone to get into the low feels. Past hurt, current hurt, fears of the future, pressure, sense of being alone. Whatever happens whether you’re riding the high or riding the lows you need to do this to take care of YOU!
Carve out at least 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes before bed to detach from the busy life and put your phone down.
Sit or lay somewhere comfortably, close your eyes and take some deep breaths in and out (slow 4 count in, pause 1 second and slow 4 count out)
As you relax, check in with yourself, to notice your thoughts
As you notice what you’re thinking, sooth any challenges and focus your mind and next actions on what will benefit YOU.
I have a guided and FREE video coaching that I call the daily self-check in where I teach you exactly how to do this with examples that I shared at an event. It really helps lift you feels, vibe, focused on whatever it is that’s important to you and encourages an easy step forward. You can download the free video coaching right here
4) Let’s talk safety: You are important and deserve peace of mind, safety and care. Sometimes reading advice is just not enough. There is extra help out there in moments that are overwhelming and here’s a few numbers that I know are available. Please do some of your own local online searches because there is a lot of support and groups out there:
Key Helpline Telephone Numbers
➡️ Domestic abuse hotline UK: 0808 2000 247
➡️ The Samaritans hotline UK: 116 123
➡️ Domestic abuse hotline USA: 1 800 799 7233
➡️ The Samaritans hotline USA: 1 800 273 8255
5) Lets talk singles: Dating in the holidays is exciting, fun and has it’s own unique challenges (including the pandemic impact!) You need a mantra, a dating strategy and major positive self-talk, I wrote a whole blog for you, that covers all of this and even goes into how to handle “The First Kiss” pandemic style. Check out the Holidating Strategy here. Love is still possible
We covered a lot here. If you end up taking only 1 thing away from this blog it’s this: take care of you my friends and I hope you join one of the holiday chats.
Do share this with anyone who needs to see some of this or would benefit from coming to the Xmas Eve chat too, all welcome and don't forget to dress in your festive favorites.
Wishing you peace and so much self-love.
P.S. If you're anything like me when reading blogs and don’t want to scroll back up, you can request the invite to the free Xmas eve video chat here. see ya there ! x